Divorce, Remarriage, and Aging Families

This week’s lesson was on something that is a touchy subject for some people to talk about. This is something that some families have gone through and has had negative effects. However, I just want to reiterate now that it is something that is beneficial to learn about so you know how to handle it if it happens.

The lesson thig week was about divorce, remarriage, and aging families.

Sometimes we ask ourselves: Is divorce good for you? Is it ever good for children? In the short run, the answer is NO for most people. In class we learned that some marriages that ended could have turned out to be satisfying if the issues within the relationship were fixed. Our textbook tells us that couples who are unhappy can work through their problems and have a happy relationship within five years. Personally, this feels like a very long time to me. I am sure that it feels like a long time to everyone reading this as well. Our textbook then continues to say that the question of whether a divorce would be good for you or whether it would be good for your children is not easy to answer. I have been involved with this in my personal life. There is a lot of divorce that has happened within my family, and it is very relevant that a lot of the time, the parents are getting a divorce or not getting a divorce simply because of what they want for their children, not what they want for themselves.

I would like to talk about some of the pros and cons that were mentioned in our textbook when it comes to divorce being difficult to obtain. The first pro mentioned is that stable families are the foundation of a stable society. If divorce was difficult, there would be less and it would sometimes force families to learn to work together, which could further lay down a strong foundation within society. The second pro that was mentioned is that couples need to learn to work through difficulties. This is something that I think everyone can work on when it comes to divorce. Far too often do I see people within relationships that are going through issues simply give up and not try to solve the issues. Another pro mentioned is that most marriages that break up could have lasted and become fulfilling if the partners had tried harder. This is something that I wonder all the time when I see divorced couples. It is definitely something that the couple needs to counsel with each other about and pray about before taking any actions. The next pro of divorce being difficult is that it is extremely traumatic for children when parents get divorced. I believe that it is traumatic at any age, simply because of all the major differences. If parents get divorced when the children are too young to remember, there are still lasting effects because children with single parents have outlying consequences that have been talked about in previous posts. The next is that it leaves couples with a sense of failure, a fear of future commitments, and possible long term traumas. That being said, there are also cons to having divorce be difficult. One of them is that it would force some people to stay in meaningless or even abusive relationships. This is the ultimate reason why difficult divorce can be dangerous. The other cons include divorce is only harmful to the society if people believe it is, and accepting divorce eliminates the damage it can cause. The next cons are that it means an increase in extramarital affairs, there is no point in adding to the pain of a bad marriage by making it more difficult to end it, and the quicker you can leave a bad marriage, the sooner you can get into a fulfilling and lasting one.

Parenting

This week in Family Relations we talked about something that is applicable to nearly everyone, and was definitely applicable to my major. For those of you that do not know, I am a Marriage and Family Studies Major. I am going to be a stay-at-home mom and this degree will help me to be the best mom and wife that I can be. One of the subjects for this week addressed the purposes of parenting. I was ecstatic when I found out that we would be learning about this! I love the fact that it is our divine purpose on this earth to have families. What an incredible blessing given from God!

Some of the purposes of parenting are to have families, raise a good society, and strengthen relationships. One of the most important reasons is to protect and prepare children to survive and to thrive in the world that they live in. It is an interesting thought that our parents raised us to be ready to grow up and be safe in the real world. Now we do the same for our own children, and they will do the same for their children. It is a selfless act that is so admirable and spiritual.

So where do we turn to for tips on the best parenting styles? One of the best sources is the Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon is a perfect example of how to be good parents! For example, in 1 Nephi 1:1, it begins by saying, “I, Nephi, having been bon of goodly parents, therefore, I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father.” Before taking this class, I had never dug deep into this verse. To my surprise, it is a great example of great parenting for multiple reasons. This scripture explains that Nephi was taught by his father, Lehi. Lehi was taught first by his father, and then taught all his children of the truths of this gospel. This is an example of what we do within our own families. Nephi is simply a story of a dad and a family. We can look to their example for guidance in that manner! This scripture is inspiring because it talks about how Nephi was taught ALL things from his father, not just the gospel, because he wanted his children to be successful. I love this thought because it is how I want to be as a parent. I think that it is so pure to be our childrens’ teachers in not only the gospel, but in every aspect of their life. One way to help teach our children is to allow them to spend time with you! Yes, it is still important to spend time with them playing with dolls, having reading time and singing their favorite songs. However, children love to help you in the kitchen, help fold laundry, and run errands! Children learn how to act based off of experiences such as this!

One thing to remember when raising children is that natural consequences are important, and that our children will make mistakes. My teacher said something that really stuck out to me. He said, “can you imagine if God punished us every time we did something wrong?” We all make mistakes, but through Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven, we can change our actions. It is important to place ourselves in our childrens shoes and see why some actions are being taken, and treat them as God treats us. One way that my teacher suggested to help them change their actions was to use the “I-statement,” which goes:

“When you _________, I feel ­­­­­­________, because ________. I would like, ________.”

Father's and Finances

This week’s lesson was on Fathers and Finances. This is a subject that is not talked about a lot simply because of all the different views on this topic. I believe that this topic is something that every couple should talk about before they are getting married. It encompasses roles of the parents, the path you and your spouse will take, and what your guys’ goals and wants are for the future. Not only should you talk about it before getting married, but it should be something that is talked about consistently throughout your life with your husband and wives.

To start off, I would like to give a quote by Thomas S. Monson. He says, “we do live in turbulent times. Often the future is unknown; therefore, it behooves us to prepare for uncertainties. Statistics reveal that at some time, for a variety of reasons, you may find yourself in the role of financial provider. I urge you to pursue your education and learn marketable skills so that, should such a situation arise, you are prepared to provide.” This is one of the most important things to me and my significant other. I think that it is important to be prepared for anything to come. It is important to gain an education to be prepared to support a family with whatever happens, especially for the male. 

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it explains that a father’s role is to preside over the family in love and righteousness and the mothers are primarily responsible for nurture of the children. However, I think that it is also important to mention that it says other circumstances may necessitate this individual adaptation. It is important for us to remember that the Lord has a plan for us and our different circumstances can still lead us to accomplish what the Lord has in plan for families.

In the article, Staying at Home: How to Downsize from Dual to Single Income, Michael De Groote says, “in today’s economy, many households are cutting back from a dual income to a single income – whether by choice like Jonni McCoy or because of economic realities like layoffs. The success of such transitions depends on several common factors and plans.” This quote helps us remember that when you cut your income down to one provider, there are major considerations to be made, whether it be by choice or not. One of the most important things to remember is that we must not spend the same amount of money as when we had two incomes. This is something that is hard to adjust to, so it must take planning for the future if you are planning on having children or cutting down one of the providers.

In the article Does a Full Time Homemaker Swap Her Mind for a Mop Dennis Prager says, “the intellectual input she can find is likely to be greater than most women (or men) find working outside of the home.” This article explains that when a women is a stay at home mother, her education is not “down the drain.” As a woman, it is my biggest goal to become a stay at home mother. I am in college and receiving a major. However, I do not think that doing this and then staying at home with my future children is a waste of time. Furthering our education is important for reasons like home schooling our children/helping them with their homework, have knowledge about financial stability, taxes, interest, etc., and having a knowledge of how to help out children through all the stages of their lives. This article is very interesting and I definitely recommend reading into it. 

Links: 

http://www.dennisprager.com/does-a-full-time-homemaker-swap-her-mind-for-a-mop/

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/765556846/Staying-at-home-How-to-downsize-from-dual-to-single-income.html

Communication and Mutual Problem Solving

In my Family Relations class this week, we learned a lot about communication. I hear from many couples that one of the most important things in keeping a marriage healthy is to have healthy communication. When I began this week, I had to questions. Is good communication enough to keep a positive marriage? How can we accomplish positive communication skills?

One thing that I think is important to remember is that there are many different forms of communication. Sometimes, even though we think we are communicating effectively, we may not be. Tone, nonverbal and body language, and the connotation of what we say can all have an effect on how our communication comes across to the people that we are talking to.

When passing your thoughts and feelings to someone, we generally follow the same pattern throughout. First, we encode the message to the person we are talking to, meaning we are giving off or explaining the message that we want to convey. The second step is communicating through a medium. This can be done from face-to-face talking, texting, media, and other forms as well. This step is one of the most important steps, as it is when we convey what we are putting across. The third step is decode, which is what the person who you are sending the message to does. This is an important step because the results may be different based off of what the sender conveys. If the sender, for example, is sarcastic, boring, or angry when talking to the listener, they may feel that the person is not interested in talking to them. However, on the other hand, if the sender is using had gestures, gently touching the person’s arm, or making eye contact, the listener feels as if they are important and that the person is interested in talking to them.

Along with this topic, there are definitely problems of communication. It is important that we understand them and ensure that we are not falling into the trap of corrupt communication. One of the more obvious problems is noise. This is something that can be easily fixed just by changing the setting of where we are talking. Another problem we come across is media. This is a problem because it cancels out important aspects of communication such as nonverbal communication, eye contact, and being focused on what the conversation is about. This can be a problem because things can be taken the wrong way when speaking through text or other forms of social media. In fact, nonverbal communication makes up 51% of communication. When taken away, communication is less than 50% accurate of what is needed to have a mutual conversation. Another thing that can serve as a problem to communication is misunderstandings. This is relevant in many aspects of our life. For example, when sitting at a dinner table with your spouse, and they say they are fine if you ask them what is wrong, it may come off as them being mad or upset with you. However, it could just be that they have a headache, they are tired, or that they are really fine. Another example can be that you told your roommate that you did not want to go to dinner that night with them. The roommate may take it as you not wanting to be with them, but in reality you could be having family struggles or simply do not have enough cash. I encourage you that when you are put into these situations, to change the phrasing to “I am okay, I just do not feel vey well. Thank you for asking, I really appreciate that,” or “thank you so much for inviting me to dinner with you, but I do not have money right now to go.” Just a simple change in the phrasing can help communication be stronger because it avoids causing inaccurate emotions. 

Crisis is not bad, it is critical!

The lesson this week can be applied to all of us in one way or another! One thing that everyone goes through on a daily basis, some more than others, is stress! The definition of stress is being in a state of mental and emotional strain and/or tension.

What would it be like to not have stress? I do not know about everyone else, but I think all the time about how amazing it would be if everything would work out the way I wanted it to! However, that is not the case. Stress is more important in our lives than we think.

One of the biggest reasons why stress is important is that it provides opposition in our lives. It can simply be stated as us not knowing happiness without knowing sadness, not knowing excitement without knowing boredom, and not knowing love without feeling loneliness. One thing that I went through as a young woman was becoming a convert to the church. One thing that really stuck out to me during this time of my life was that the gospel made me feel so happy. One of the biggest reasons I decided to go aside from my family beliefs was because I saw the opposition in values. It made the decision easier to become a member of this gospel when I knew what it was like to be without it. This does not mean that you need to have experiences just as this to have a true testimony of the church, this is just a personal experience.

The world would be too easy if we did not have stress. One reason it is important to go through challenges is to learn lessons from them. This entire earthly life is a test of Heavenly Father to see if we will follow His commandments. One thing that I have learned is that hard experiences leads to greater understanding of the Lord’s plan. I look back at hard things from my past and I have pure joy knowing that I learned valuable lessons from going through that. It is said by many critics that “wish people do not try and remove stress.” One common example of removing stress from lives is when parents hand off their children to nannies because they do not have enough energy to take care of them. Before continuing, I think it is important to mention that it is not this way in every case of nannying, this is specifically about parents who do it because they simply do not want to be the ones that take care of the kids. When a parent finds it less stressful to hand off children to a nanny for any reason, the nanny becomes a parent figure to the children. When the children are taken away from this nanny at any given age, it is an emotional connection that is broken within the mind of the child, which can be extremely difficulty. Heavenly Father gives us children so we can know and become like Him! I think that it is important for us all to remember that if our children are being fussy, have medical disabilities, or anything of the sort, they were placed under our care specifically by Heavenly Father for a reason.

One thing to remember is that going through a crisis is not bad. In fact, going through crisis’s in our life is critical. I would like to encourage everyone that reads this post to make hard situations an opportunity to grow and be an example of strength to those around you! One thing that I have learned is that you never know who is watching and following your actions. It is important to act in faith no matter what the situation is, because our children will especially watch us. 

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

This topic is something that can be really awkward or strange to talk about for a lot of people. I am going to be careful in what I say and how I approach this topic.

The topic for this week was Sexual Intimacy and Family Life. I know that I am no expert on this subject, as I am just a teenager but I think that it is an important thing for all youth to know before coming across it in the future.

The first thing I would like to explain is that it is different for men and women what happens during sexual intimacy. For women, it gives them a feeling of safety and security, so it is much easier for them to feel sexual. For a male, it is actually the complete opposite. For the male, when he feels sexual, they begin to have a feeling of safety and security. The thing to remember is that we do not always know what the other partner is feeling, because it is so different for both of them. In fact, it is not only different mentally, but physically as well. For women, they may not climax during sexual intimacy, which may lead them to think that their partner does not want them to feel satisfied or care about their feelings.

Some challenges during sexual intimacy include being confused. It can be confusing especially during the first time, when you are trying to get to know the other person’s body and how to make both of you feel comfortable. Another challenge can be discomfort, which can come up in many different ways. Another common challenge that people don’t think about a lot is that it can sometimes be painful. For many couples, the first time brings up a lot of pain, which can also make the other person feel like they are no meeting the other persons needs. The last challenge that I would like to mention is that it brings out opportunities for selfishness. This might sound confusing to some, but it basically means that during sexual intimacy, you do not fulfill the other persons needs and only want your own needs fulfilled. However, with challenged comes the opportunity to grow and learn. One of the benefits from these challenges is that you begin to mesh with your partner. If you do what is comfortable all the time, you and your spouse would never mesh. Now this does not mean that you should constantly be doing something that you are uncomfortable with, it just means that sometimes the beginning of sexual intimacy can be awkward or uncomfortable.

Sexual intimacy is to be waited for until marriage in the LDS community. However, I believe that it should be waited to do for everyone, including those who are lot Latter-Day Saints. Before being marriage, it is important to learn communication with your significant other. This will be beneficial in every aspect of a marriage, even intimacy. It is a skill that needs to be learned early on in the relationship.

I would also like to point out the significance of this same intimacy being used to bring beautiful children into this world. It is important that God has laid out a plan for us, and that it is important to wait for this kind of sexual intimacy until marriage. 

Transitions in Marriage

One of the first subjects that we talked about was cohabitation. This is something that is quite common around the world, but is not noticed as much as I think it should be. There are many different types of cohabitation.

The first type of cohabitation is “parallel living.” This means that two significant partners do everything together, and is seen a lot as “the next step” before getting married. Another type of cohabitation is when people do it because “they are getting married anyway.” Opposite to this, some people cohabit “instead of marriage.” One of the most common reasons for cohabitation is to be more financially stable. This is really common among individuals that have different jobs and want to make a better living by sharing property. The last is “co-parenting.” This is when a man moves in with a single mother or a woman moves in with a single father to help parent the children that they have. While there are many different types of cohabitation, they mostly have the same effects on the individuals. An “LDS parallel” to this can simply be that you basically spend every waking moment with another individual that you are interested in.

After cohabitation, most couples share everything the way that they did before when they get married. This means that it becomes a “mine and yours” situation. It can be negative because then you do not share money, have joint responsibilities, or work as a team. This can lead to divorce or unhappy marriages. It is proven that not sharing a bank account makes couples feel separated. It leads to people being more worried about the person’s “other half” rather than the actual person. This can be extremely negative, especially if the individuals feel like they do not meet up to their spouse’s needs.

One thing that I think is important is knowing the proper steps of engagement. The first is dating. This is when you get to know the person and decide whether or not they are a person that you would be interested in marrying some day. The next is courtship. This could be modernly described in today’s society as “becoming exclusive.” The next step is actually getting engaged. Lastly, you are actually married. All of the steps are important because it helps you set yourself up with a healthy marriage. While engagements are a happy thing for your love and emotions, becoming engagement is a money commitment.

One thing that many people think is old fashioned, but is actually quite important is for men to ask for the father’s hand in marriage. This is important because it gives support from the family, it humbles the man into explaining how they will take care of their daughter, and it makes a genuine and formal commitment. I find it very interesting that when men propose, they are on their knees. The way I see it, it is a genuine question.

Lastly, as my teacher would say, do not make marriage a Facebook event. This means that it does not need to be a gigantic, expensive, out of this world wedding. The average cost of a wedding ranges from $27-36,000. Pulling out a loan for this sized wedding can lead to financial issues within the marriage. Having parents and family paying for the majority of the wedding can lead to many different things. It can sometimes cause a family to think that they “always have a say,” it may establish a pattern that mom and dad pay everything, or it may make it seem like the children owe their parents something. Trying to save up this money can lead to cohabitation, or postponed marriage which also has negative side effects. 

Preparing for Marriage

This week's material has been one that I was looking forward to. My major is Marriage and Family so this subject really interested me.

In Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Celestial Marriage, it says, "Have faith in God and Father and in His Son. They will guide and strengthen us because we are on Their errand of creating eternal families and raising children in righteousness."As individuals, we come across many bumps in the road when it comes to starting a family. Whether it be having a hard time finding a significant other, being infertile, or being financially unstable, there are frequent changes in our plans. I have a strong testimony that if we have faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, what is meant to happen will happen. Our greatest goal is to make it back to Heavenly Father with our families.

It is apparent that dating in high school, and sometimes after, means that "you want to marry that person." In my high school, I noticed that a lot of guys would not ask girls on dates because they didn't want them to think that they wanted a serious relationship out of this, and I am sure that a lot of people you have seen experience the same thing. However, JeaNette Goates Smith's article, Casual Dating is Alive and Well, she disagrees. She states that "the most common lament I hear from single women both young and old is that men don't ask girls out on dates anymore." For some people, dating seems dead. It is interesting to see that the idea of dating has been morphed and that it is not an easy discussion to talk about. How can this issue be resolved?

Cohabitation is an increasing trend in America today. In Selecting a Life Partner written by , it says about cohabitation, "this number will no doubt continue to grow. A survey of adolescents found that they expect to cohabit at some point in their future." I think that it is important to remember that we look into ourselves and find our own personal values. Whether you are LDS or not, I know that it is important for everyone to have set goals in mind to find the perfect spouse for them.


Sources:
Hanging Out, Hooking up, and Celestial Marriage: https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/bruce-a-chadwick_hanging-hooking-celestial-marriage/
Casual Dating is Alive and Well: https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/bruce-a-chadwick_hanging-hooking-celestial-marriage/
Selecting a Life Partner: https://byui.brightspace.com/content/enforced/287582-Campus.2017.Fall.FAML160/FAML%20160%2001,%2014/Lesson%2005-%20Preparing%20for%20Marriage/Lauer%20%26%20Lauer,%20Chapter%2007%20-%20Selecting%20a%20Life%20Partner.pdf

Gender Roles

If asked the questions:

             -What makes someone a female?
             -What makes someone a male?

what would you answer with? This is a topic that has diverse opinions across the entire globe.

A more critical term for describing the differences and actions between males and females is a sex-typical tendency. For example, a woman is commonly known as the nurturer of the family. A woman may think, "I am not a nurturer, does this mean that I am not a woman?" or a man might think, "I am not into sports, does this mean that I am not a man?" This root of confusion, to many, can be the cause of bisexual and homosexual feelings and relationships.

An epistemology is basically ways that we come to conclusions. With this particular subject, there are many epistemologies about how individuals come to the conclusions that they are gay. In the article Infants Prefer Toys by Gender, written by the ASCH Staff, it says "children as young as 9 months-old prefer to play with toys specific to their own gender, the study found, suggesting that boys and girls follow different developmental trajectories with respect to selection of gender-typed toys." Because of this statement, when some parents see their male children playing with barbies it causes a red flag, and vise versa. Some parents even consider their children already to be gay at this point, and start identifying them with that.

In the video, Understanding Same-Sex Attraction, published by Family Watch International, it says that "many homosexuals did not choose to have the homosexual feelings they have felt, sometimes beginning at a very young age." This statement does not necessarily mean that "children are born gay" or that being say is part of your gene make up. It suggests that some homosexuals and some researchers believe that early childhood experiences or memories can trigger this feeling among individuals.


I did not mention all of these sources, but here are some interesting links to learn more about various opinions on this issue:

Infants Prefer Toys by Gender: https://www.acsh.org/news/2016/07/22/infants-prefer-toys-by-gender?utm_source=email%20marketing%20Mailigen&utm_campaign=News%207.29.16&utm_medium=email

Understanding Same-Sex Attraction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJhyzqdzpnM

Transgenderism: A Pathogenic Meme: http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/06/15145/

Normalizing Gender Dysphoria is Dangerous and Unethical: https://www.acpeds.org/normalizing-gender-dysphoria-is-dangerous-and-unethical?utm_source=email+marketing+Mailigen&utm_campaign=News+8.10.16&utm_medium=email

Growth and Success of Children Within Different Family Structures

When reviewing FamilyStructureStudies.com, I have come across nearly all types of parenting and studied how there are different results from each.

I would like to explain a few. The first is divorced parents or future joint custody. This means that the parents were together until the child turned 18, and then got divorced after. The next is a single parent household, where the children lived primarily with one parents who did not remarry. The last is an intact biological family. This type of family included the married parents in the home for all of the childrens' lives, and never got divorced.

The first issue that I studied was unemployment. Of the families that were divorced in the future, 15% of the children became unemployed. For the single parent homes, 13% were unemployed. Lastly, 8% of the intact family children were unemployed. As you can see, the children of the intact family were the most employed, opposed to other family types. In fact, the most unemployed children were from the children who had a mother with a lesbian relationship. Elder Oaks, in his CES Fireside talk, "Truth and Tolerance," he states, "we live in a world where more and more persons of influence are teaching and acting out a belief that there is no absolute right and wrong, that all authority and all rules of behavior are man-made choices that can prevail over the commandments of God." It is widely known among the religious community that same sex marriage leads to unhealthy homes and negative consequences for the children, while the worldly views are different.

The next subject I studied about the outcomes of children was depression. I discovered that out of 4, 1 being the lowest amount of depression, divorced later families' children were at a 2.01, single parents were at a 1.91, and intact families were at a 1.83, which was the lowest of all family types. The highest amount of depression came from those children who were raised by mothers with same sex relationships, and the next being fathers in same sex relationships. It seems relevant to mention that Oaks states, "in this troubled circumstance we who believe in God and the corollary truth of absolute right and wrong have the challenge of living in a godless and increasingly amoral world."

I know that we should all take a step back and figure out what is best for our children and what we want within a family before we get married and before we make life long decisions. I know that Heavenly Father's Plan of Happiness involves us having children and forming families, and raising them to make it back to Heavenly Father some day.


http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/-truth-and-tolerance-elder-dallin-h-oaks
http://www.familystructurestudies.com/

Family Theories

There are four Family Theories that describe the interaction between family members and the internal dynamics of different parts that individual families play within their own lives.

The first theory is the System Theory. Typically, within this type of family, each family member has a separate role which are not important or successful on their own, but mixed with the roles of other family members becomes a strong group. This can be commonly seen among families where parents are not around all the time. More specifically, the children become a pact and one sibling will take on the role of the peace maker, one as the "mother" of the group, one as the maid, etc. On their own they are insufficient in keeping the family strong, but together they make an unstoppable group, using their individual roles and subsystems.

The next theory is Symbolic Interaction. Within this theory, actions of family members are symbolic to something. For example, if you are in the car with your significant other and they suddenly stop talking after an argument, it is symbolic in the fact that they are trying to make a point. A common issue among this type of interaction is that many individuals assume meanings of actions before checking with the other person to see if that is how they really felt.

The third is Exchange Theory. Individuals try to get as much out of a relationship as they are putting in. A lot of the time, we withdraw out of relationships if we feel like it is not worth it or if they are not putting in as much effort as we are.

The last theory is called the Conflict Theory, which is the most commonly known theory of the four in my opinion. This can be explained simply that influence is equivalent to being powerful. Individuals within families are usually in conflict and the more influence they have, the higher chance they have of getting what they want.

You can figure out your own family dynamics by mapping out your family roles and subsystems.

I highly recommend reading these sources to find more information about your family and how to make it stronger:

• https://byui.brightspace.com/content/enforced/287582-Campus.2017.Fall.FAML160/assets/The%20Family%20as%20a%20Psychosocial%20System.PDF?attachment=1&_&d2lSessionVal=27srJv7bpuK8Ve3zu2G7xSIoq
• http://hsemployees.utah.gov/dcfs/docs/22a--Family%20Maps.PDF

Current Trends Within the Family

Hello all! 

This is my first blog post. Let me just explain a little bit more about the purpose of this blog. I attend Brigham Young University-Idaho, and I study Marriage and Family with a Home and Family Emphasis. The topics on this blog will be from my Family Relations Class, where we identify connections between scholarly and revealed observations about the family, understand a range of theories regarding the family, utilizing them and predicting family relations, and strive to change our own assumptions that we have of the family. After this class is over I hope to continue this blog about other issues relating to marriage and family to further my own observations and be a teacher to those who follow! I recommend following this blog if you are interested in learning about family issues that occur around the world in modern society, and how you can better improve your own family and families around you! 

My first topic revolves around current societal trends within family systems and different family styles. Elder Boyd K. Packer says, "we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets." This is basically saying that the traditional family is losing its strength. In the article "Why You're Being Invited to Fewer Weddings," Ben Steverman explains that fewer Americans are being married. This is caused by a few different factors including postponed marriage, cohabitation, and career choices. This article predicts that marriage will keep falling within the next 5 years. This is a concern because it lowers the replacement rate. To dig a little deeper into what replacement rate is, it is better to understand what fertility rate is. Fertility rate is the number of births a woman is able to have. Replacement rate is basically if a current generation will be able to replace the generation before them. In "The New Economic Reality: Demographic Winter, they explain that the needed replacement rate in the world is around 2.2. As of now, the United States is the only country that has a replacement rate that meets this criteria. This means that as the years go by, population will eventually reach a peak of increase and then decline. 

Many fear that the world is overpopulating. In the Demographic Video, you see that many couples that were interviewed do not believe that a traditional family is necessary. Some even claim that they believe that they do not need children to fulfill their role as a couple. While this can be true, we must look at the facts. The less children that the world has in general, the more future generations will have to work while earning less money. 

It is our personal decision to decide how many children have. However, I inquire that you consult with Heavenly Father, along with looking at the facts. The average woman is having less children as the years continue, and while it seems like it may not have a direct effect on you, it does. It is also important to remember that children are not born simply to help stimulate the economy or to make work easier. We should remember that children are a blessing and out duty upon this earth. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we learn that husbands have individual purposes, but they are equal in purpose. There are spirits in the heavens that are waiting to be called forth under our care. 

I would like to end with a quote that applies to all couples. Whether you are married or not, religious or not, or if you have opposing opinions, we should consider why children are important to our personal being and for the economy.  President Brigham Young states, "There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty? To prepare tabernacle for them; to take a course that will not tend to drie those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can."

September 20, 2017

Here are the following links that were mentioned in this post if you would like to learn more about the subject: 

• https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-07-28/why-you-re-being-invited-to-fewer-weddings?cmpId=flipboard
• https://creation.com/where-are-all-the-people
• https://youtu.be/_O0bkcYTd94

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http://faml160mariah.blogspot.com/2017/09/introducing-me.html

Hello everyone!

My name is Destiny Mills. I am the oldest of 4 girls, and I am from Layton, Utah, the best place on earth! This is my first semester at BYU-Idaho and I love it. My major is Marriage and Family. There is nothing better than leaning how to be the best wife and mother I can be!