Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude: Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship

The chapter that I studied this week was titled Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude: Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship. The text says, “in the course of teaching and nurturing children in a family setting, parents can learn and grow by practicing godly virtues that lead to sanctification.” To assist parents in meeting their family responsibilities, the Lord has given commandments, guiding principles, and helpful examples in the scriptures, along with the counsel of modern-day prophets and apostles.

Each individual in the world has different interests, personalities, and behaviors. These interact with what has not been revealed to us. We have been blessed with individual talents and unique abilities to be disciples of Christ, and it is important that we make the choice to show that and display our love towards Heavenly Father for blessing us with those things.

In the text it states, “research exploring genetic contributions to children’s development suggests that children may select, modify and even create their own environments according to their biological predispositions. Whatever the nature and disposition of a given child, wise parents work to adjust, relate to, and rear each child in a manner that is somewhat tempered to individual needs as parents and children learn from each other.”

When it comes to rearing children with love and righteousness, we must remember that this involves loving, teaching, and guiding them with an emphasis on teaching and preparing children rather than unrighteously controlling their wills. In order to promote optimal development, it is important to show your children love/warmth/support, show them clear and reasonable expectations, limit their boundaries with some room for compromise, form appropriate consequences, give them opportunities to make their own choices, have the absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline, and be a model of appropriate behavior that is consistent with self-control, positive values, and positive attitudes.

Foundational Processes for an Enduring, healthy Marriage

The chapter that I studied this week is titled Foundational Processes for an Enduring, Healthy Marriage. Spencer W. Kimball states, “while marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach o every couple, every person.”

The first foundational process explained for a healthy marriage is having personal commitment to the marriage covenant. The text says, “marriage is a purposeful, divinely created relationship not merely social custom, and that couples have God-given covenant obligations to one another.” Elder David A. Bednar has created a diagram that shows the importance of the relationship between husband, wife, and Heavenly Father.

The second foundational process is love and friendship. The proclamation explains that husband and wife have the responsibility to love and care before any other marital obligation or virtue. The text explains it as, “marriage lights the way and draws attention to other virtues couples may wish to foster in their marriage.” For a couple to have a nurturing and loving friendship, they can get in sync with their partner’s love preferences, talk as friends, respond to bids for connection, and set goals for couple interaction.

The third foundational process is positive interaction. Positive emotions toward one’s spouse are vital to a healthy marriage. Negative emotions, if they occur frequently and are allowed to deepen, can threaten a marriage. To enhance positive interaction in marriage, focus on your spouse’s positive qualities.

The next three foundational processes are accepting influence from one’s spouse, respectfully handling differences and solving problems, and continuing courtship through the years. To conclude, the text states, “be intentional about doing things every day to enrich the marriage, and to spend at least 5 hours a week strengthening your relationship.

The ABCs of Successful Romantic Relationship Development: Meeting, Dating, and Choosing an Eternal Companion

The chapter I studied this week was called The ABCs of Successful Romantic Relationship Development: Meeting, Dating, and Choosing an Eternal Companion. The letter “A” stands for awareness of or acquaintance with another person, “B” is the buildup of a relationship, “C” is continuation following commitment to long-term relationship, “D” is deterioration or decline in the interdependence of the couple, and “E” stands for ending of the relationship.

In the text, Thomas S. Monson explains that we must prepare for success in finding an eternal companion. However, many experiences exert an influence on your success in meeting and choosing an eternal mate, including family experiences throughout childhood, adolescent experiences with other significant people in your life, and things that are happening in your current environment. He asks the question, how do we come to terms with negative experiences in our families? He says, “while therapy, good books, and good role models outside the family are helpful, ultimately, the doctrines of the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially the Plan of Salvation and the Atonement, are the most powerful agents of change.”

On a physical note, signs of depression, anxiety, and immaturity in both partners have negative effects on the relationship satisfaction of both partners. It can be said the other way as well, that the more positive and kind each person is, the more satisfied they are with their relationship. After taking care of issues from your family and peer relationships, you then make efforts to initiate relationships with the opposite sex.

When it comes to qualities you want in a husband, it can be hard to discern between what characteristics are good and which ones are bad. Elder Richard G. Scott states in the text, “a possible mate should have a deep love of the Lord and His commandments and a determination to live them. A possible mate should also be kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home.”

Drawing Specific Inspiration from the Proclamation

This is the last blog post that I am going to create for this class! It is bittersweet, because this class has been such a great learning journey!

The chapter that I studied in "Successful Marriages and Families" is called, Drawing Specific Inspiration from the Proclamation.

President Boyd K. Packer says, "The Family: A Proclamation to the World... is scripture-like in its power... Read the proclamation... and you'll find answers there. And the answers that are there are the answers of the Church." The most important thing from this quote is that The Family  is there to give us answers. I look to it frequently throughout my life to find answers, and I find something new every time.

By divine design, fathers are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In this, mothers and fathers should work together towards raising their children. Throughout the journey of life, it is relevant that there are hard times and challenges, but we can always find happiness through these things.

In the Proclamation, it talks about how children are entitled to be raised by a mother and a father. I like to think of a mother and a father as 2 separate puzzle pieces. Men have different roles than women, and without the other, they would not be able to give their children what they need!

I would like to end with a great quote from the reading. It states, "there's something that... when as a family your hearts are pointed together toward the same thing, and it's God, then parenting and economics and space and food and disagreements and hassles and joys and celebrations and all that other stuff... it works different, it seems different, it feels different... Our family is all oriented in the same way. Christ is king, He's the center, He's what it's all about... Our faith informs our relationships and everything about us."

The Eternal Family: A Plain and Precious Part of the Plan of Salvation

Most of the time on my posts, I refrain from being too spiritual because I want to be able to entice a large audience. However, this lesson is so important and can help anyone on this earth that is struggling. It is relevant that we all use our blessings and divine personalities to draw closer to the Lord in these Latter-Days.

This chapter focuses on the importance of the Plan of Salvation. This is one of my favorite chapters that I have studied in my class so far! The beginning of the chapter states, "the family is central to the creator's plan for the eternal destiny of his children... In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life."

From the beginning of time, we were spirits in heaven and we were spirit sons and daughters. I love that one of our purposes on earth and our mortal life is to realize our divine talents and destiny in this life. One of the many blessings that we have on this earth is that we have the priesthood, which allows us to be able to be sealed together as families! Each of is in this life have a mission to perform, and these include being a wife, mother, daughter, friend, and sister. Fulfilling our specific roles in this life will bring us closer to the Lord and make us feel happy and accomplished in our doings.

It is important that we are using our individual talents to bless our lives, and help us feel accomplished and important. The reading states, "God and His plan are eternal. He instituted marriage and family in the beginning. God created the earth, the garden, and our first parents in order to create families for all of His children to be born into and experience mortal life- especially mortal family life." Whether you are religious or not, I encourage all of you guys to look into your own lives and your own talents, and use those things to feel accomplished and make your time in this life worthwhile.

Defending the Sanctity of Human Life

"We affirm the sanctity of life and its importance in God's eternal plan," -Cynthia L. Hallen

The chapter that I read this week in Successful Marriages and Families was titled "Defending the Sanctity of Human Life." The phrase "sanctity of life" is used by people who have concerns about life-related issues such as abortion on demand, birth control, capital punishment, and euthanasia.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints declares the sanctity of human life, stating, "we deplore the practice of partial-birth abortion which destroys innocent life, and we condemn and oppose it as one of the most revolting and sinful practices of our day."

What is life? Why is life sacred? Why is life important in God's eternal plan? Life can be defined as a condition of sustained regenerative activity, energy, expression, or power that human beings and other animate creatures experience. One of the earliest meanings of the word "sacred" has to do with the consecration of the body and blood of Christ in the sacrament. Life is sacred because Jesus Christ is the ultimate source or fountain of life through His work in the Creation and through His sacrifice in the Atonement. Human life is sacred because human bodies are temples, and all flesh is in the Lord's hands.

The Proclamation states, "we call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family." The reading explains that church members have the right to speak out on moral issues such as abortion and to support public policy that coincides with moral beliefs.

I challenge all of you to speak up for what you believe in and be advocated of Christ!

Wholesome Family Recreation: Building Strong Families

My husband and I LOVE going to movies! In fact, we had a movie theater themed wedding. This chapter, titled "Wholesome Family Recreation: Building Strong Families," caught my attention because I have always been the type of person to love to do out and do fun things with my family and the ones that I love!

This chapter states, "successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." Recreation is easy because we all have things that we love to do! Especially today, there is an infinite number of activities that us as individuals like to do in our free time. It becomes a problem when we are looking for instant satisfaction all the time. During this lifetime, it is not the goal to be constantly entertained. We sometimes have to do things that we do not want to do, so it is important that when we are entertaining ourselves, it is with wholesome activities.

Research shows that seeking more comfortable or pleasurable circumstances is likely to only bring temporary happiness. We seek pleasure or comfort, thinking it will make us happy, but soon become accustomed to the new pleasure or comfort and then continue to seek something more appealing.

Lastly, I would like to share a quote from the material that stood out to me the most:

"In truth, happiness is not all that it's cracked up to be, and most people don't really want to be happy all the time anyway. People often choose to go to movies or operas that are very unsettling- that terrify, sadden, disgust, or anger them. There is something about experiencing these emotions, whether in the safe and comfortable context of a theater or at a dangerous mountain pass in the Himalayas that is appealing to many people... the true meaning of being alive is not just to feel happy but to experience the full range of human emotions."

I know that doing things that we love is so healthy. I challenge all of you guys to find something that you love, and strive to do it at least once a week because it will help you become happier with other aspects of your life!

The Meanings and Blessings of Family Work

To start this off, I would like to share one of my favorite quotes by David O. McKay. He says, "let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is a success!" This is something that we can all be better at!

The chapter that I read during this week in Successful Marriages and Families was titled, "The Meanings and Blessings of Family Work." It states, "successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of work." ALL family members are vital to family work.

Why does running a household, even with modern conveniences, take such inordinate chunks of time and displace other activities we consider important? If cooperating as a family is the ideal, why is it often easier to work along than to involve children or a spouse? Modern culture also encourages a dislike for characteristics of family work that may offer great possibilities for fostering growth and nurturing relationships. The book states, "unlike play, which often involves significant mental activity, sharing an everyday task can dissolve feelings of hierarchy, inviting lighthearted or intimate conversation that bonds us together."

When I look back on my childhood, some of the best moments with my family is when we would clean up after Thanksgiving dinner. These chores brought us closer together because we would have nothing to do besides clean and talk! This led me to become closer to my grandmother. We would hand wash dishes (she has never had a dishwasher) and talk about school, life, and our future goals. For my husband, some of the best times with his father are when they were doing yard work together. He always felt close to his dad when they were not focused on electronics or had any distractions!

Lastly, one thing that I thought would be beneficial for families is that the books says, "parents do not need a perfect system for doing chores." It says, "family work is a lifelong opportunity, essential to the process of becoming like our heavenly parents. It was not meant to be consistently easy, convenient, or well-managed. We cannot describe any systems that guarantee meaningful experiences with family work. Individuals and families, with diligence and through inspiration, can discover better ways to solve their earthly challenges.

Strengthen Relationships in Good Times and Heal Relationships in Bad Times

The chapter that I studied this week was Strengthen Relationships in Good Times and Heal Relationships in Bad Times. 

The reading begins by saying "successful marriages are established and maintained on principles of prayer." This is something that I feel very strongly about. When I got married, I always believed that it would be so important to pray together as husband and wife, because it draws us nearer together and draws us closer to God!

Elder Dallin H. Oaks says, "Conflict is a universal part of marriage. For many, unresolved contention eventually leads to the dissolution of the marriage. Prayer, however, can help protect couples from divorce by healing the relationship and restoring harmony to the marriage." The reading explains that prayer has a de-escelating affect on conflict. I challenge all of you to turn to prayer in times of conflict, to avoid saying things that are not meant and to ensure that you are in the right state of mind!

Studies show that partner-focused prayer transforms relationship goals and facilitates forgiveness! 3 Nephi 11:29 says, "Satan strives to stir up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another, to disrupt the holy union of marriage in a blatant attempt to make us miserable like unto himself."

My husband has always told me that Satan does enough to hurt individuals and that he is already causing us to feel bad about ourselves. He says, "Satan is already doing enough, why must we help him?" Because of this, my husband is not the type of person to cause conflict or to be involved in drama, because he knows that Satan already has an affect. I challenge everyone who reads this to be able to remember this as well, and focus on being positive, Christ-like, and an advocate of the gospel!

Faith in Family Life

The chapter that I studied this week in Successful Marriages and Families was called "Faith in Family Life. It starts out by saying that "successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith and prayer."

One thing that stood out to me the most during this reading was that prayer and faith are principles of action. If you want to see change, then you must take initiative yourself and make a change in order to receive a change.

The reading talks about three dimensions of strengthening family life. The first dimension is "Religious Community and Family." This dimension focuses on support, involvement, and relationships that are grounded in a congregation or less formal religious group. It explains that there is a higher life expectancy for individuals that attend a religious service more than once a week.Family structure is associated with the level of benefits families receive from the religious community when they are religiously involved. Unwed, divorced, and separated mothers tend to receive less social support from their faith communities than do widows.

The second dimension is "Religious Practices and Family." It says, "praying together as a family and reading the scriptures together is probably the best thing we do to pull us toward Heavenly Father and each other. It feels right. It feels good." They conclude that for Latter-Day Saint families relgious practice and family unity can be synergistically integrated in family prayer, family home evening, and family scripture study."

The third and final dimension is "Religious Beliefs and Family." Religious beliefs include personal, internal beliefs, framings, meanings, and perspectives, which can influence family life. The reading states, "over the past two decades, religious belief has received more rigorous, balanced, and comprehensive treatment in connection with family relationships than ever before." In conclusion, social science evidence suggests that shared faith appears to be a principle upon which successful marriages and families are established and maintained, even "during the storm."

Honor Thy Father

The chapter that I read this week in Successful Marriages and Families was called "Honor Thy Father: Key Principles and Practices in Fathering."

Last week, I read about the importance of mothers, and this week I am now learning the importance of fathers. I love learning about the differences in gender roles, and how husband and wife can work together towards a greater goal. In the talk A Triangle, Three Pillars, and Your Eternal Happiness written by Elder David A. Bednar, he gives a diagram of a triangle with the Jesus Christ, Husband, and Wife on each corner. He says, "imagine a triangle with the savior at the apex and a man and woman at each of the other two corners. Notice what happens to their relationship as they both come unto Christ. At first glance, this may seem a little counter-intuitive. If someone wants to strengthen a relationship, shouldn't they focus on their partner and those interactions rather than a third party? Bringing the Savior and His atoning power into a relationship magnifies everything good in it and allows what is not good to be overcome and changed."



Successful Marriages and Families explains that fathers are directed to take upon themselves the responsibility of spiritual leadership in family life, as part of God's plan for the family function. A father also has the responsibility to preside and occupy the duties that rest upon men in family life, such as working and fixing things around the house. Men are called to exercise spiritual guidance among family members, which is done through love and the constant example of personal spiritual attentiveness that spiritual persuasion can be appropriately exercised.

The reading states, "both boys and girls who have positively involved fathers show higher social competence and experience fewer problems in school. Fathers' generative engagement with children accounts for a significant portion of their education and occupational attainment in young adulthood." Fathers teach their children to be involved positively and actively in spiritual work and ethical work.

"Generative spirituality meaningfully binds a father to his child and inspires him to meet his child's needs through responsible and responsive involvement. Generativity assumes a moral commitment to nurture and guide the next generation and transmit lasting values. Thus, it is linked with presiding in family life and blessing family members through love, warmth, and guidance."

Mothers as Nurturers

This week, I learned about the importance of mothers in the home and how they nurture their children. Janet J. Erickson says in Successful Marriages and Families that "mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."

The relationship formed through a mother's attentive love provides the foundation for all of the other major tasks of parenthood. Many mothers feel that society does not value the kind of self-sacrificing work motherhood requires. Because of this, it causes a lot of women to invest their energy into a work place where they feel like their work is most valued, which is very sad. The reading states, "for most of our history, the word motherhood meant honor, endearment, and sacrifice... Yet this spirit of self-sacrifice has become a contentious issue in recent years, making contentious the very idea of motherhood." For those of you that do not know, contentious basically means controversial or argued about.

Motherhood in the home used to be less controversial. It was very traditional where the husband would work away from the home to support the family, while the women would stay home, keep up with the household chores and cooking, and take care of the children. As society has shifted, we see more than ever mothers working outside of the home and becoming more reliant on receiving pleasure from their jobs rather than their personal life.

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it states that "by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." Motherhood is important because it is filled with responsibilities different than that of a father, and they fit together like a puzzle piece.

Successful Marriages and Families talks about how mothers have a sacred role because they are partners with God, as well as with their husbands, because they first give birth to the Lord's children, and then they rear those children so they will serve the Lord and keep His commandments.