The ABCs of Successful Romantic Relationship Development: Meeting, Dating, and Choosing an Eternal Companion

The chapter I studied this week was called The ABCs of Successful Romantic Relationship Development: Meeting, Dating, and Choosing an Eternal Companion. The letter “A” stands for awareness of or acquaintance with another person, “B” is the buildup of a relationship, “C” is continuation following commitment to long-term relationship, “D” is deterioration or decline in the interdependence of the couple, and “E” stands for ending of the relationship.

In the text, Thomas S. Monson explains that we must prepare for success in finding an eternal companion. However, many experiences exert an influence on your success in meeting and choosing an eternal mate, including family experiences throughout childhood, adolescent experiences with other significant people in your life, and things that are happening in your current environment. He asks the question, how do we come to terms with negative experiences in our families? He says, “while therapy, good books, and good role models outside the family are helpful, ultimately, the doctrines of the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially the Plan of Salvation and the Atonement, are the most powerful agents of change.”

On a physical note, signs of depression, anxiety, and immaturity in both partners have negative effects on the relationship satisfaction of both partners. It can be said the other way as well, that the more positive and kind each person is, the more satisfied they are with their relationship. After taking care of issues from your family and peer relationships, you then make efforts to initiate relationships with the opposite sex.

When it comes to qualities you want in a husband, it can be hard to discern between what characteristics are good and which ones are bad. Elder Richard G. Scott states in the text, “a possible mate should have a deep love of the Lord and His commandments and a determination to live them. A possible mate should also be kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home.”